La Vie Bohéme (09-04-2008)

With only eight weeks to graduation, I've begun the tedious and soul-sucking task of job hunting. I've finished my résumé and I'm stuck on the cover letter with only one more line to write. I would write something along the lines of You should hire me because I need the money and I'm fucking awesome, but the more conservative masses who lack an understanding of my sarcastic, self-righteous humor require a more delicate facade. The upcoming year before graduate school is going to be a painful intellectual void...

I must say that the last half-decade of higher education is coming to a bittersweet close, though predominantly more bitter. I look at my curriculum vitae and see the tangible accomplishments of my sleepless nights and endless cups of coffee, but it falls incredibly short representing the vitae aspect of my college career. So I learned a few languages and looked at pretty pictures? That's not really what I care about. These things define my academic interests, but they do little to elucidate me.

Recently I have greatly questioned my desire to attend graduate school. I honestly would rather move to Africa and spend my time traveling through countries like Malawi, Ethiopia and Mozambique. When I get tired of the heat, I could make my way up to Egypt, cross the Mediterranean and bum through Europe. I could visit the Parthenon, the Baths of Caracalla, and then settle down in Montmarte for a few years where I could pretend to be Picasso or Toulouse-Lautrec. This is the life I would choose if I had the courage to do so.

Some people spend their lives chasing monetary gain; others wish for a sense of accomplishment. I desire neither. The only thing I want is to be a crazy old man with elaborate stories of his youthful shenanigans. I want to look at an Impressionist painting and understand what Monet felt because I've been to the gardens at Giverny. I want to comprehend the words of Herodotus when describing the Greeks as cultural and artistic children in comparison to the Egyptians. And ultimately, I want to suffer because it is the basis of all human experience.

Perhaps I will find the courage to live the life I desire in the coming year, but more likely I will end up back in school, which is my second choice.